Two days away from the alleged meeting with that american-douchebag-I'm-doomed-to-spend-three-weeks-with, suppose we're both retarded enough to show up, I think it's time we paused and examined how things started; which the big bang that caused all these ideas of international travelling with the innumerable probabilities and possibilities that follow it, was.
Well, I guess the big bang literally was a long series of mini strokes we gave each other during all those months of communication, cause of all of the awful/retarded things we said to each other (which is considered normal and accepted, cause we're awful and retarded). After passing a certain BITCH, IMMA SLAP YOU level, it was decided we have to meet to diss each other in real life. The actual discussion of the idea of the overseas trip on his side, went something like:
♀ -MWAHAHA, I'm gonna spend an uberrad summer making a metal pilgrimage to Germany.
♂ -OH REALLY. Then I'm gonna book flights and visit Europe for the first time. AND GET ME A TICKET FOR THAT METAL THING.
♀ -FINE. You can crash at my place during the weeks prior to that, being the cheap ass you are.
♂ -FINE.
..and that was basically it.
Organising the details of getting to point A and then B and then C etc. and of accomodation were hell of course. However, with the power of metal to guide us and a certain amount of hereditary douchebaggery, nothing was impossible.
Nevertheless, a big bang requires some speciffic conditions in order to happen: huge temperatures, pressures and densities + elementary shit floating around.
The huge temperatures and pressures might have been caused by the ongoing ping pong assholeness ball that went back and forth across the Atlantic, but the collisions, annihilations and finally the synthesis, were enabled because of dark matter. And there is no other darker for the brain productivity matter than ...FACEBOOK.
Yes, yes it all began via facebook. At this point I simply know one ends up doing (and actually enjoying) the exact things he/she used to laugh at, so I won't even comment on how ~useful~ and ~culture advancing~ I think that site is (or the mere retardation of me spending time on it despite that). I will comment on something else though. According to the official statistics, Fb now has more than 400 million active users. To most people that creates an imagery of tiny, ant-sized crowds of humans seen from high above. My brain is wired in a slightly different modus though, so it processes data in other be-a-uuutiful ways. ~>
400 million people... Apart from the obvious= boring old farts who actually use it the way it is supposed to be used, almost all of the rest who are in a constant who-has-the-most-imaginary-friends-added competition and the sexual predators who are trying to network with potential victims, there's something else I wonder why no one has thought of...
400 million people... How unlikely is it for a serial killer to be among those? In fact, how unlikely is it for a bunch of serial killers to be among those? And while you're at it, add a few cannibals and necrophiliacs as well. For all you know, I might hit the jackpot and be waiting for a rapey werewolf cannibal at the airport in 2 days. Then again... for all you know I may be a serial killer with a pimp-my-torture-room basement.
That being said, I think the scenario of a serial killer waiting to pick up a cannibal is kinda awesome. In fact, the cannibal and serial killer friends of both parties should start placing bets on who survives this ASAP. Everyone kinda expects this vacation to turn into a romantic flick (apart from us who are actually looking forward to a b-movie adventure with shitty dialogues and acting), but, after all, it could also be a shitty thriller with cheesy lines and awful lighting. Or we could meet a serial killer-cannibal (we ARE going to Germany after all XD) and have to combine our ~special talents~ to face this new danger.
Personally, the only one I basically trust, especially when it comes to planning, is myself. However, I have faith in that American douchebag and believe he will live up to his word (which is flying his ass 10433km / 6483 mi / 5633 nmi away from that desert of his and getting where I will be waiting, doing my nails and yawning at the vanity of life, in order to fuck up everything, not appreciate European culture and make history -or at least press- with original acts of public misbehaviour).
There's of course the possibility of us getting taught a life lesson or discovering the meaning of life/ love and other words that need shitloads of pages to be explained, but I have faith in our douchebaggery.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMeD_tdgQfg
Oh. And Then I Killed The Neighbour -DoSu'10* by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Greece License.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment