Answers To Crazy Basement Dwellers (you) -part II

Who really is the Schismarch?

Is the situation in Greece really as bad as the Media portrays it?

If the Media portrayed anything accurately, it wouldn't be called the Media; it would be called Bloggers United! ;P

From an economic perspective, nobody in Europe is doing well.

The difference here is that people don't quite accept that if Athens has to borrow its total requirements of 53 billion euros this year at current market rates, it would cost AT LEAST an extra 500 million euros a year in debt service charges. We're being raped by interest rates, paying a 12.5% when Germany -Europe's only country that isn't majorly eating shit at the moment- pays less than 3%. After years of political corruption and recent bank bail-outs, the result is that we -along with Portugal, Italy, Spain, Ireland and now Belgium-, owe hundreds of billions. It is estimated that this year, every greek citizen (population: 11.000.000) owes 23.600 euros. Basically, I already owe 23.600 euros and I don't even have any loans -not to mention an income. or a porsche.

Being a member of the European Union and all that jazz means they won't let us go bankrupt because the euro will get fucked if we do. Which means we have to borrow more and more and more at unbelievable rates, making it quite impossible to pay back anytime soon, not to mention that corporations are withdrawing funds from greek banks. In the meantime, austerity measures here include a 10% cut in wages, increased taxes, higher retirement ages and of course an increase in fuel prices. Greeks don't have the mentality of yeah-let's-eat-shit-for-the-following-ten-years-because-our-politicians-failed-miserably-and-we-owe-the-good-people-who-lend-us-money-at-excruciating-rates. So we take it to the streets, rioting and all...

The crisis here became obvious almost half a year ago. That's when we started running around in an effort to do bond deals with other european countries -which basically means Germany because everyone in Europe knows that Germany is the one who calls the shots. Germans didn't want to be arsed, basically saying that we screwed up and it's not their problem. That makes sense, only it doesn't because in a union such as the european, if one country gets screwed, they all will eventually, one after the other. Now, 6 months later, germans are starting to realise this and wish to lend us money, only it's kinda late. The euro is starting to get fucked and the financial problems here are much more difficult to be solved than they were 6 months ago, because that's the way things work in economy: you have to react fast, or the situation dramatically changes from one day to another.

-What the fuck do we do now?

Greece cannot devalue its currency or print money because we gave up those sovereign powers to the European Central Bank, upon becoming a member of the euro-zone. So, foreign economists suggest getting out of the euro-zone. If we get out of the euro zone, and therefore go back to the old currency (and therefore GO BANKRUPT) we will starve. As simple as that.
Not that there's any way to control the downfall in a worldwide scale even if we were left to starve on our own: all of the countries central banks are printing money (Euro, UK, US etc.) as they are engaged in continuous competitive devaluations of their currencies. In other words, economy can only be understood as a global phenomenon and shitty economy even more so.

Basically, there's no solution, I predict all four riders of the apocalypse throwing a party over Europe's remains, capitalism dying, and me becoming a farmer girl growing potatoes.

Answers To Crazy Basement Dwellers (you) -part II by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Greece License.

Answers To Crazy Basement Dwellers (you)

Ask anything. And try sounding more interesting than my grandpa while you're at it. Full Anonymity will be granted if you wish so. Send that shit to either TheSchismarch@windowslive.com or http://www.formspring.me/TheSchismarch
Bring it on!


Why isn't the whole plane made of the same material as a black box?
Black boxes aren't indestructible. They aren't black either. The information recording shit is contained within a three layer box (hardened steel/titanium-> insulation box-> thermal block-> information recording shit), which is very compact and therefore heavy relatively to its size. Even if black boxes were partially manufactured from some super metal, (weight and cost not being an issue), human beings wouldn't be able to survive the impact of the crash.to survive the impact of the crush anyway.



Are the videos that show the murders of journalists (like the Pearl video) snuff films?
First of all, a definition of what a snuff film is must be provided -> A snuff film is a motion picture that depicts the r e a l murder of (an) individual(s) for financial exploitation. So, even though I originally thought that snuff films are about sex as well, the main equation is videotape+real murder= money making distribution.
Cases of recorded murders as seen in:

• newscast (September 11nth, Saddam Hussein's execution)


• documentaries (the assassination of J.F.K.)


• footage videotaped by murderers (the Rotenburg Cannibal AKA Armin Meiwes who videotaped the mutilation, the feeding of his dog body parts of his victim -there is huge controversy as to how much of a victim Jurgen Brandes, the man he killed, was since Brandes had fully agreed to be consumed-, the stabbing of J.B. to death in the throat, the hanging of his body to a meat hook and the tearing chunks of flesh from it)

cannot be therefore considered snuff films, since they were not intended to be for-profit films. If I were to be a smartass about this I would make a reference to an actual murder that happened on camera, on set, in a movie we have all heard of/ seen (The Crow, starring Brandon Lee), but frankly, snuff films are one cinematic urban legend that should not be material for witticisms.

The Pearl video was a 3 minutes 36 seconds video made by the NMRPS (National Movement for the Restoration of Pakistan Sovereignty) to promote their demands and behead an American journalist in the process (so, no for-profit factor). Man, some ideas are just bad...

Sadako...from the Ring series...yeah, is she a hermaphrodite?
Yes. In the books, she has Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (AIS). That means she has male chromosomes, but her body lacks the receptors to androgens. Androgens are male hormones that would cause the development of a 8====D. So, she basically has female genitalia. If by now you aren't totally confused, you should have already asked yourself what having androgens means. Well, it means she has internal testes. Insensitivity to androgens means these women don't develop any male characteristics (which explains why they are more often than not extremely beautiful like Sadako). Also, women with AIS are usually very tall as well. They are infertile, but their life expectancy isn't reduced by the syndrome. Some models are thought to have AIS. By the way, only the Boreoeutherian land mammals have external @@. Having internal testes isn't THAT weird.

The jews...do they burn well?

...you are fucked my friend.

...

...you are still fucked my friend.

Answers To Crazy Basement Dwellers (you) by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Greece License.

Answers To Crazy Basement Dwellers (you) by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Greece License.

I'll Tell You A Secret About The Secret

The most impossible to really answer question we get asked daily -often more than once per day-, has to be "how are you?". The thing is that you can never just be "fine" or have the absolutely "SSDD*" happen. Actually, there should be so many things we could reply that we would be getting strokes out of pure excitement in our effort to describe all of our interesting shit. For better or for worse, we human beings can do many things, but fail in communicating successfully. So, we have invented many small rituals that make every day life easier. If someone you are expected to have some form of respect for asks "how are you", then your answer is going to be "fine". If someone you feel closer to asks, then the opportunity to sound more WOOHOO badass presents itself and your answer can now be "SSDD". And that's about all of your answer options.
Anyway that's all obvious so far. The thing that kinda troubled me recently is that I belong to the group of people who would answer SHITTY! more often than not. Actually I'd answer "shitty!" all the time were there no social repercussions. I'd answer that out of boredom and a retarded haha kind of sense of hunour that makes the other person feel like we're sharing the similar ooh-we're-buddies-now situation.
And then my gay part (and by gay I mean jolly) intervenes and has to be a prick about it. I mean my normal self would go something like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztA2eYpEIqg and be done with it. But the gay part had to make references to movies like The Secret -which I hadn't watched thinking it would be kinda pointless since I already knew what the mentioned secret was by flipping the book which I again hadn't read or was willing to buy- and the general Paulo Coelho groove of if you want something really bad, then the universe will help you get it.
At that I had to pause for a second cause my gayness overwhelmed my bitchy and grumpy usual self and I was somewhat shocked. I needed to do some research and perhaps consider a new lifestyle, a new way of thinking, a new way to view things!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G47o44m4J2U

My thoughts:

1. Those kinds of western spiritual theories that are alternative approaches to actual sciences AKA those kinds of New Age stuff, are as ~western~ as possible since they not only emphasize on the PERSON'S (unit, one, the self, EGO) potential and how WE alone can achieve everything and ultimately have the forces of the universe work for OUR own benefit, but need something that sounds scientific for support as well. So, there should be some sort of "scientific" theory behind The Secret and what Paulo Coelho has made shitloads of money by using as the backbone of his books.
2. Indeed after a few clicks, that theory was identified as the Law of Attraction. As a law school student, that already put a smile on my face since by law I single out stuff that has to do with one going to jail or stuff solid enough to have to do with apples falling on your head and gravity. Anyway, the whole thing needed further investigation.
3. Law of Attraction-> If you concentrate on something hard enough, regardless of whether you like or dislike it, you will send a message to the universe and get that something after a while.
4. Well, originally I thought of all of the wankers out there who should have gotten laid with celebrities long, long, loooong ago. Then I decided to be somewhat serious about this and thought I'd waste some more brain cells about it. O.k. so this I'll-call-it-theory-for-shits-and-giggles, "regardless of whether you believe it or not isn't really a bad thing", said the gay self. "It's basically about being positive and com'on people need that nowadays more than ever".
5. That was partly true. If everyone evolved to my state of apathy and bitchiness, things wouldn't be fun anymore. Something needed to be done. But. But. Just because something doesn't have teeth to bite you in the ass, it doesn't mean it's not dangerous or proof of something that has the potential to be extremely dangerous/disturbing.
6. Think about the Law of Attraction for a second. The moment I learned what it is about, this sent chills up my spine. If I were to make a definition of the LoA, that would be: a religion where human killed God, or more accurately replaced God with himself.
7. I'm not particularly religious (cause if I were I'd have to aknowledge the fact that I'm probably going to hell), but this whole who needs God, ~I~ can achieve anything attitude disturbs me deeply when appearing in such an indirect form. First of all, I don't believe anyone is the shit just cause. I mean yeah if you have a big penis you probably qualify for being the shit, but claiming you are the shit just because you are part of a group that shares some characteristics or beliefs and not because you have achieved some stuff on your own, is bullshit for me and a form of racism. So you are white/black/latino/asian/christian/muslim/satanist/atheist/straight/homosexual/bisexual/a starwars fan/a d&d fan. -> I. couldn't. care. less. That doesn't make you the shit by default. Yes, you could be one of those AND be the shit if you had achieved something, but believing you are invincible and can control your destiny and shoot lazer beams from your ass due to extra coolness or whatnot is retarded. Same way of thinking goes for believing in the LoA and applying it. You are not fucking special and can control your own destiny just cause you say so. You may be able to control certain things about your future if you work hard and have what it takes , not because we all can if we blah blah have a positive mentality.
8. I know, I feel and I believe. These are three totally different things for me and should not be mixed in their core. For what I know though, I use my brain. And a theory that claims that human beings can command the universe is not a theory at all since it lacks all scientific proof. So it has to be something along the lines of a religion considering its nature. All is well with that, except the fact that a religion like this already exists. It's called modern satanism and emphasizes on the individual. Again no problem with that. Everyone is free to believe whatever helps them sleep at nights for all I care, as long as they don't try to convert people left and right to the ~one and only true religion~.
9. But I DO have a problem with LoA because it hides its nature behind supposedly peaceful teachings about positive attitude. This IS partly a religion, and one that could be summed up to hubris at that, but more than that it's another marketing tool for the fool. At least conventional religions are about the soul and satanism about doing whatever the fuck you want basically, without morality standing in the way. But the LoA is about making consumerism appear o.k. and spiritual. Think about it; you can get whatever you want if you concentrate hard on it. I don't know if I'm alone in this, but if I were to take this shit seriously, I wouldn't be concentrating on world peace.
10. People want: a) a high paying job b) looking smexy c) a relationship d) tons of material junk. Since we live in the 21st century, all of those can be bought or -to make this sound better- need money invested to succeed. In other words one's basic wish, like it or not, is having money in order to buy. You buy, buy, buy and then die and whoever has the most shit gathered till death, wins.

At this point, enough brain cells were already wasted. I punched my gay self in the nuts and decided that whether or not people should be having a positive attitude or not is their choice. The universe could or could not care. I didn't. I don't. I'm happy when I'm happy and sad when I'm sad and still kick people in the balls whether I'm happy or sad.

*SSDD= same shit different day


I'll Tell You A Secret About The Secret by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Greece License.

Hatching A Monster

When people ask questions they are giving you the answers at the same time. If you pay close attention to them, you know what your answer has to be. There is no right or wrong. There is only right-er and wrong-er. The nature of anything is competitive nowadays. Why should Truth be an exception?
This whole role-playing of questions that come as a set with their answers is a game. You just pretend you are what you are expected to be. That way you are always right for the person that talks to you. You are bright and have a future. You are like them.
That's what The System is all about. That's how you become part of it. No one explained these things to me. Growing up though, I noticed that there is only one way to be good and a million ways to be wrong, to be "bad". Being part of ANY minority basically means being wrong. The real problem is not that you are gay or an atheist or dunno don't wear fashion accessories. The problem is that you are not pretending -and therefore "being"- part of what's considered to be normal. The officially, politically correct prevalent. No one cares if you ARE gay or an atheist. They WILL tear you to pieces if you don't pretend you aren't though.
A key word to keep in mind in all this is "real". Any way of thinking and ultimately any lifestyle that doesn't fit in isn't considered... real. People need explanations when someone doesn't behave according to what he/she is expected to. The person has to EXPLAIN why he/she is the way he/she is, because he/she "can't obviously be really like that". They have to be doing what they're doing in order to provoke/annoy someone, or because they have psychological issues. Simplest example: When someone isn't listening to mainstream music, they are doing it because they: are an angsty teen/ want to stand out/ are plain wack etc.

The reasoning doesn't matter. The mere existance of a "because" is what matters.

You don't have to explain yourself if you're listening to popular music or dress in a fashionable way. You don't need to defend your choices. Because you are normal. You are one of the "us".
I don't lie. I don't bullshit people because I talk with facts. Nevertheless, I am exceptionally good at giving the correct answers. I guess I'm the biggest, most dangerous kind of liar there is.
For those of you who don't personally know me, I am a law school student. Scored top grades and made my way to law school. I now don't study half as much as other law school students and I bet there are dozens who know more about judicial procedures than I do. However, I have a talent. I am a highclass liar as I explained. I look at people and know what I have to "be" in order to either gain something or avoid situations.
Studying is easy. Scoring straight A's is easy. The answers are in the books. But how many of my fellow students are good at detecting the answers in people? How many of them can be naive*, smart, classy or trash depending on what suits best the person standing opposite?
I look at myself and see monstrous potential. I know I have to learn how to control my emotions though. How to hush the voice in me that is ready to tell anyone to fuck off after giving them a detailed list of the reasons why they are full of bullshit. In other words, I know that in order to become something big, there is one last thing I have to work on: I have to learn how to lie to myself. Am I willing to do that?
...
I am 20 years old. I'll finish law school in two years. Some of these epiphanies are the product (apart from life in general, so far) of two weeks at work (I recently started working for the first time in my life). Check my income in ten years from now and you will know the answer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yom8nNqmxvQ

*check my previous post and compare with this one for solid proof...


Hatching A Monster by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Greece License.

Citizen Of The Schismarchland

The inside of one's head includes the basic info that is required to create a social networking site account: who the person basically is and a few clues that indicate what the person likes and what it doesn't like. Other than that, tons of junk that one just can't let go of and clings to with a collector's passion. As in:

• the first time you did something.
• the last time someone did something to you.
• lots of wheres and a few whys.
• hundreds of memories and, depending on the person, zero to a dozen of plans for the future.
• a list of numbers that hold some meaning and a list of names that have a "flavour".

Those are the solid facts, the "nouns". The "adjectives" are the tabs one adds to all of the above. Depending on what you have been taught and what you have taught yourself, some things may be embarrassing and others funny. Some bad and some good.
One's feelings about each of the "nouns" are "adjectives" too. The emotional scale that covers all kinds of feelings characterizes the solid facts in one's head, depending on the current events: something may be particularly liked at one point and totally disliked at another for example.

Characterisations are subjective, unstable and have a very short life span in other words. Even inside one's head.

So why are certain ideas and acts identified as good/bad and everything in between by a large part of the population? Facts are facts because science is science, but when it comes to values, norms (and therefore codes of conduct) who decides what is acceptable and what isn't? I mean, honestly, who does? I don't. You don't. Anyone I know doesn't. Anyone you know doesn't. Yet I, you and all the people we know can pinpoint degeneration and debauchery at any given moment. Why? Does immoral or immature or anything that has a negative meaning smell bad? How is it that obvious?

In my opinion, the more you cry wolf, the more you are calling for one.

Perhaps the fact that nowadays everything has an instruction booklet aside from life, combined with the sharp rise of boredom in its purest form, makes us want to have some guidelines, some codex we can refer to when we find ourselves in a situation where we actually have to make a decision.
Because it's easier. Because we know that almost everyone will agree. Because it doesn't matter if our decision is right or wrong as long as it is accepted and approved of. Guns, violence and spilling blood are fun, but being the odd one out isn't. And by odd one out I don't mean belonging in a clique that only has a few members, I mean not belonging period. No one likes that kind of conflict...

I don't believe in races. I believe in transparent people and solid people; people who might have ended up believing and liking anything, but they just happened to be born in a certain environment and in a certain age, and people who no matter what the rest of the factors in the equation are, stand out because they know how to find their way to do things, to live, ultimately.
Maybe this is why I can't feel close to someone, regardless of what they feel. All I know is my shit. All the other person knows is how shit is supposed to work for everyone. That's why I sometimes see light where others see darkness and darkness where others see light. But that's what makes ME, MYSELF. I'm not good. I'm not bad. I am certain facts like age, sex and occupation. Other than that, I'm not a word. I am a world.
Most people are part of an already established world. That goes for me too. But in addition to being part of the Disneyland of our times, I am also the creator and resident of my world, my Schismarchland. You don't need to enter it to be my friend. You just need to acknowledge its existence. And then, tell me about your world...



Citizen Of The Schismarchland by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Greece License.

Book That Explains Everything -Chapter about Jobs.

Boss
The Optimist says: Your boss/es is/are (one of) those people who have both the power and the potential to make you view God as a spiritual facebook where you can post status updates about the most recent cause of your misery.
The Cynic says: Your boss/es is/are the manifestation either of the big bad wolf because they look fun till you realise they have eaten quite a few red riding hoods or of Cruella DeVil because they behave like this-> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJI7qhk3_Rk .
Just be ostentatious for 8 hours and always remember that smiling IS a way to show your teeth after all.

Employee
That's you. Feel free to add all of your good qualities in the definition.
Co-employees
Fellow slaves and therefore potential allies in a mutiny. You are allowed to be promiscuous when your shift's over.

Job
Something to do and feel cooler than your friends who sit on their ass all day (what you also did before your glorious days as an employee). In terms of payment it's close to slavery, at least at my age (20 years old). It is recommended for anyone who needs new ways to prove the existence of a sence of independence and self-worth. You know; all the I-can-manage-on-my-own crap. It is impossible to keep a job unless you have some very near-term goals (=you are desperate for cash).

Job-Interview
Act as if you smell your favourite flowers during the entire process. Looking like a pleasant, kind person is 1/3 of the lying you have to do. Another 1/3 is that no matter what you have to appear as a clever individual. Be quick witted and funny and make sure your eyes look more vivacious than a fish's. Your general body language should give off signs of someone alive as well.
Final 1/3 of the lying that along with other things will lead you to hell where you can join me: that's trickier than the rest, but you have to make sure you look pretty. By "pretty" I basically refer to looking like the rest of the people who work where you wish to be hired. The standards of what's attractive are in front of you each time you enter your ~future workplace~.

Lack Of Experience
At first it looks like a problem. In reality it's not the lack of experience that might cause you problems. The lack of I.Q. points and a dandy set of boobs will.

Salary (at 20 years old)
Amount of money you get in exchange for being young and being there. And doing something too.

Salary (how to get a satisfactory one)
Did you ever have any ambitions towards visual arts? Now it's your chance as an aspiring actor/-ress to star in a dramatic series called "My life as an impoverished college student". You have the leading role and your job is to portray all real and imaginary difficulties someone like you has, when discussing the details of your salary. Improvisation, emotional expressiveness and the ability to generate affectionate responses from your audience (employer) are required. An artistically created set of upper torso assets, could be viewed as a helping device in acting.
Whatever the case and after you have used all of your bargaining techniques, you will still be paid in a fashion that suggests you fall under the category "Slaves, Tools & Other Idiots". But, as I said, getting a job is 50% about the sense of DOING SOMETHING with your life (independent young adult etc.) and 50% about the cash. So, you will at least feel as if you have some control after the alleged bargaining (you can only bargain up to a point and boobs can only be perfect to a certain extent).

Workplace
A theater. You take up many roles that may range from not like you to nothing like you. If you give a hell of a performance, you'll become a star.



Book That Explains Everything -Chapter about Jobs. by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Greece License.

My Answer To Death Note...

1. You may make three wishes, with a twelve hour gap between them, that will be granted.

2. The first wish can only be to become someone else.

3. The person you wish to become could be a contemporary character, a fictional character (character of a book), or a deceased person. It can not be an unborn person or a species other than human.

4. The second wish can only be your actual wish as that person. It can be about anything as long as it is something for "yourself" = the person you have become after wish#1.

e.g. you may wish to become your worst enemy and then wish to get cancer; you may wish to become the person you have a crush on and then wish to fall in love with you.

5. Whatever the case you will have to endure the results for at least twelve hours until your next wish.

6. The final wish can only be to turn back to yourself.

7. For as long as you are the person you have wished to become after wish #2, that person (if it is a contemporary character) will automatically become you having the right of wish#2 (to wish for anything as you), but not being aware of it.

8. The person who has become you after you wished to become them, can only become aware of the fact that they are someone else and have the right to wish for anything as that person, only if they get notified by someone who hasn't made their three original wishes or you.

9. For as long as the person who has become you after you wished to become them, is you, they will act and think as you.

10. If your #2 wish (as another person) is to die, the person who has become you automatically dies, so you die too.

11. Each person has only those three wishes, unless someone else wishes to become them, in which case you automatically go to wish #2 as that person.

e.g. you have already made your three wishes, but someone else who hasn't wishes to become you, as their first wish. In that case, you become them, automatically having the right to wish anything as them for the amount of time they are you, but being unaware of the fact.

12. When you make your third wish and turn back to yourself, the person whom you have wished to become and is you for the -at least- twelve hours you have become them, automatically turns back to themselves having lost the right to wish for anything as you, if they haven't done it in the amount of time they were you.

13. The gap between the wishes is twelve hours minimum. Should you not make your wish after twelve hours have elapsed however, you do not lose the right to make a wish. That means you can become someone else forever (unless you have chosen to become a historical or fictional character) if you choose to never make the third wish. Whether or not you actually stay that person forever depends on whether that person gets notified of the change and their right to make any wish as you or not, by someone who hasn't already made their three original wishes or you, and the way they will use their wish as you.



The Second Wish.

The second wish grants you the right to change the course of history, "rewrite" a book or simply change someone's life. It is not limited by any kind of social, moral or religious boundaries. You may destroy or create, spare or take revenge. However, the results should you choose to alter the course of history will affect everyone, including yourself. After doing that and turning back to yourself only you will be aware of the change in the course of history.

You may not wish for something that goes against the laws of physics as known today.

e.g. you may not wish you can control time. If you do so, you will be able to control time only for the amount of time you are someone else. After you wish to turn back to yourself, neither they or you will be able to control time.

~
The idea behind this game was to put the player in a somewhat godlike position where he/she can change someone else's life, but at the same time has the chance to view the results from that person's point of view as well as his/hers. I was also curious as to whether people would use their wishes in an altruistic way or not... and here comes the real secret of the game: being magnanimus when in charge of someone else's life, made the player feel good because a sole act of altruism lead to a chain of cooperations that made it possible for all players to get what they wanted. Taking revenge on the other hand, resulted in a quick game over for everyone and the players actually felt worse since the people targeted weren't present, which meant that all the vengeful players managed to do was remind themselves, and the rest of us, that they haven't gotten over something...


My Answer To Death Note... by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Greece License.