25 August 2010
19 August 2010
UNESCO World Heritage List Criteria:
II. To exhibit an important interchange of human values, over a span of time or within a cultural area of the world, on developments in architecture or technology, monumental arts, town planning or landscape design. -> CHECK
IV. To be an outstanding example of a type of building, architectural or technological ensemble, or landscape which illustrates (a) significasnt stage(s) in human history. -> CHECK
V. To be an outstanding example of a human settlement, land-use or sea-use which is representative of a culture (or cultures) or human interaction with the environment, especially when it has become vulnerable under the impact of irreversible change. -> CHECK
In the north western part of Thessaly/Θεσσαλία, the part of Greece from where a band of heroes called the Argonauts/Αργοναύτες -because their ship was named Argo/Αργώ-, including:
- Jason/Ιάσων: Leader of the Argonauts and prince of Thessaly who was challenged by his treacherous uncle, who had usurped the throne, to retrieve the Golden Fleece, a sacred relic, and thus prove he is worthy of the throne.
- Hercules/Ηρακλής: Demigod most famous for successfully completing 12 über difficult labours as a form of penance.
- Theseus/Θησέας: Legendary founder-king of Athens who slayed the Minotaur, a half-man half-bull beast who at 9 year intervals devoured 7 athenian boys and 7 athenian girls as a blood tax because Cretans had pawned the Athenians at war.
- Castor/Κάστωρ and Pollux/Πολυδεύκης: Badass hunter twin brothers only one of whom was immortal (Pollux). Such was the brotherly love that when Castor was fatally wounded in a battle, Pollux asked Zeus to give Castor half of his immortality... Zeus made them the two brightest stars of the stellar constellation known as ..Gemini.
- Orpheus/Ορφέας: Son of the muse Calliope/Καλλιόπη (the muse of heroic poetry -Homer's muse), A+ class singer and perfecter of the lyre. Such an awesome pimp indeed that he could divert the course of rivers with his music, not to mention the fact that he went to the underworld (because his songs about his wife's (Eurydice/Ευρυδίκη)death were so sad that made gods weep and allow him to travel to the underworld to try and get her back; he indeed managed to soften with his music the heart of Hades who agreed to let both of them go only if Orpheus would walk in front of her and not look back until they were both on the upper world ..he looked back the moment he got on the upper world and lost her forever) and returned.
- Calais/Καλάις and Zetes/Ζήτης: Known as the Boreads, sons of Boreas, the north wind, they had the ability to fly and engaged in dogfights with the harpies.
- Peleus/Πηλέας: King of the Myrmidons and father of Achilles.
a complex of towering rocks (a now renowned international venue for rock climbing)
with byzantine monasteries built on top of them, is known as
"Meteora" (=suspended in the air).
I really enjoyed this trip, however, it has to be stated that the holy vibes didn't quite affect us on our first night at Kalambaka (the town closer to Meteora), since we made sure we will be remembered for a while there, by basically being two loud Asians strutting around the town center.. one of them in an improvised mankini... *sigh* ...I wasn't even drunk. Both fortunately and unfortunately, photographic material of this doesn't exist. I think it was way too early for me to feel at ease with my co-traveller's massive amount of social retardation...
To be continued...
Meteora -DoSu'10 by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Greece License.
14 August 2010
Oh, yeah, that was actually said.
a) freedom of speech
+ b) all men have equal rights in expressing themselves
+ c) all men are treated equally by law
and the ideals of order and harmony in architecture,
was designed by architects Iktinos/ Ικτίνος and Kallikrates/ Καλλικράτης and built under the supervision of scultor Phidias/ Φειδίας (the dude who made the statue of Zeus at Olympia, one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world) in the mid-5th century BC. The 5th century BC was a super glorious period of philosophical brilliance and a high point in the development of political institutions and arts. Classical Athens, a powerful city-state and the birthplace of democracy, was the shit in the Mediterranean world and generally speaking "the western civilizations" chapter back in the day, cause of its heritage of political and cultural achievements. The Parthenon's construction began in 447 BC at the initiative of badass politician Pericles/ Περικλής
(who like me had a hugeass head and therefore always wore a helmet when posing for sculptures -true fact) and was completed in 438 BC, but decorations continued until 431 BC. Perfect timing I say, because no matter how awesome Parthenon with it's reverse optical illusions (-> the columns are neither built straight, on purpose, nor on the same level, yet with certain optical illusions, those effects are negated) and symbolic blah blah meaning is, there would have been significant budget cuts since the Peloponnesian War between Athens and Sparta (and their bitches/ allies) began in 431 BC. Not to mention an epidemic typhus outbreak in Athens, in 430 BC.
[...] "For Elgin's fame thus grateful Pallas pleads,
Below, his name--above, behold his deeds!
Be ever hailed with equal honour here
The Gothic monarch and the Pictish peer:
Arms gave the first his right, the last had none,
But basely stole what less barbarians won.
So when the Lion quits his fell repast,
Next prowls the Wolf, the filthy Jackal last:
Flesh, limbs, and blood the former make their own,
The last poor brute securely gnaws the bone.
Yet still the Gods are just, and crimes are crossed:
See here what Elgin won, and what he lost"...
- Lord Byron
Thomas Bruce, 7nth earl of Elgin, was the British ambassador to the Ottoman Empire from 1799 to 1803 (since the fall of the
After all this love towards the british culture and modern day National Art Treasures POW politics has been expressed it has to be said, just for the sake of ethnicistic hatred being directed towards the right nation, that Elgin was in fact a Scot. However, that is beside the point because kilts are awesome and we've all seen and liked Braveheart.
In the afternoon, we had the MOST BORING, SO BORING ITMAKESMEWANTTOWRITEINCAPSANDCAPSONLYGBVBNSILERFUBVUSXWKEFOV URBGCMAPSODVRNVSLXCHRBVKGD123456789876543212345678987654321, conversation of all times with a third party -caveman was making sounds to show he was following and I think I said a sentence or two each time I escaped my lethargy-, accompanied by the worst tea of all times (even though I still haven't figured out if it's tea I don't like or most types of tea, the rest agreed it was fucking horrible).
Afterwards, we would have to run like motherfucks to catch the last bus to our next destination.. the "Suspended in the Air" Monasteries...
Ancient, Mutilated, Hauled And Still There When You Croak -DoSu'10 by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Greece License.
I should have been updating all you stalkers out there, but there was no time to do shit during the actual days of the douchebaggery project...
So, let the narration begin~
In what would be remembered by future generations as a dick move, I never went to the airport. However, stalker international managed to locate me two hours after landing in my homeland.
My First impression (after an annoying tap on the shoulder): this isn't a dwarfish midget after all.
His First impression (after a haha-gotcha tap on the shoulder): this isn't flat. BOOBS.
After important facts such as my boobs turning around the corner before me and douchebag American being tall enough to appreciate enough degrees of arc from most spots of the horizon were scientifically established, I believe we started talking about all sorts of retarded shit we didn't really care about such as: how were the flights, where the fuck was I, what a rip-off exchanging money at the airport is, it's fucking hot, England sucks (to which a "sorry Dave" was added each time) etc. On our way, I offered some Devils and a Gordon's. That is official cigarettes and alkoholic beverage of vacations in Greece just cause I like them.
After ditching a couple of 10 months pregnant, with clothes that were surprisingly already stinky, bags at my dinky and after that stinky apartment, caveman took a shower ("I can't believe from all the things I could forget, I forgot the deodorant!" , "...shiiiiiiit") and we were out on our way for food. During food time, I think we were both observing the alien in front of us while continuing to talk (in these 20 days I don't think there ever was silence for more than 3 minutes when we were both awake; then again I don't think we ever properly slept ->"pass out" is more suitable). And later on climbed up on a spot where we had a good view of the Parthenon. I think we talked about mythology and then parents perhaps finding a link in the mythological gods or the mythological monsters theme.
View of the Parthenon from where we were sitting.
View of the Parthenon (special Olympics edition).
For whatever reason, we decided to walk all the way back to the trollhouse. My house that is. Paranormal activity involving a dog I've only seen once before, about a year ago, took place that night. I think that this dog is a messenger of some sort, but such shit just sounds retarded unless you've experienced it, so I won't elaborate. No one was bitten and we didn't bite anyone. I slept like a rock. Santa Midgetballs on the other hand didn't sleep a lot that night.
I think I managed to pass out for like 4 hours before the distinctive fragrance of foreign douchebaggery filled my braindead head and I woke up. I went outside and got some breakfast, thus allowing Captain Tanoukiballs to taste what I usually have for breakfast. Well, it's not like he had many options, but anyway he liked it. Apparently, my taste in cigarettes, booze and food was well received that far, which meant all this wouldn't be awfully uncomfortable for any of us. Anyway, I thought it was about time to act like intellectuals and visit some museums, so we indeed paid a visit to the Acropolis Museum and the Coin Museum,
always walking around with style and elegance.
In the evening, we went to a park
and started dissing people on facebook who will probably read this. (Just for the record, I only showed less love towards female shitheads -you know who you are, eat shit and.. get fatter MWAHAHA). It is also true that we had some serious conversations dissing larger parts of society and talking about our futures. Once we got tired from dissing everything, we walked around town a bit and climbed up some paedo-rapey hills for a romantic for all the paedo-rapists sunset.
Nothing romantic happened, but we did experience a once in a lifetime retarded event, when we witnessed a dog pee on its sitting owner. Wiser and hungrier we came down from the hills of enlightenment with just enough brain power to focus on table manners: Tzatziki sauce for the first time.
Once our HP were back to normal, we were of course ready for more douchebaggery...
To be continued...
In The Beginning Was A Dick Move -DoSu'10 by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Greece License.