I'll Tell You A Secret About The Secret

The most impossible to really answer question we get asked daily -often more than once per day-, has to be "how are you?". The thing is that you can never just be "fine" or have the absolutely "SSDD*" happen. Actually, there should be so many things we could reply that we would be getting strokes out of pure excitement in our effort to describe all of our interesting shit. For better or for worse, we human beings can do many things, but fail in communicating successfully. So, we have invented many small rituals that make every day life easier. If someone you are expected to have some form of respect for asks "how are you", then your answer is going to be "fine". If someone you feel closer to asks, then the opportunity to sound more WOOHOO badass presents itself and your answer can now be "SSDD". And that's about all of your answer options.
Anyway that's all obvious so far. The thing that kinda troubled me recently is that I belong to the group of people who would answer SHITTY! more often than not. Actually I'd answer "shitty!" all the time were there no social repercussions. I'd answer that out of boredom and a retarded haha kind of sense of hunour that makes the other person feel like we're sharing the similar ooh-we're-buddies-now situation.
And then my gay part (and by gay I mean jolly) intervenes and has to be a prick about it. I mean my normal self would go something like http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztA2eYpEIqg and be done with it. But the gay part had to make references to movies like The Secret -which I hadn't watched thinking it would be kinda pointless since I already knew what the mentioned secret was by flipping the book which I again hadn't read or was willing to buy- and the general Paulo Coelho groove of if you want something really bad, then the universe will help you get it.
At that I had to pause for a second cause my gayness overwhelmed my bitchy and grumpy usual self and I was somewhat shocked. I needed to do some research and perhaps consider a new lifestyle, a new way of thinking, a new way to view things!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G47o44m4J2U

My thoughts:

1. Those kinds of western spiritual theories that are alternative approaches to actual sciences AKA those kinds of New Age stuff, are as ~western~ as possible since they not only emphasize on the PERSON'S (unit, one, the self, EGO) potential and how WE alone can achieve everything and ultimately have the forces of the universe work for OUR own benefit, but need something that sounds scientific for support as well. So, there should be some sort of "scientific" theory behind The Secret and what Paulo Coelho has made shitloads of money by using as the backbone of his books.
2. Indeed after a few clicks, that theory was identified as the Law of Attraction. As a law school student, that already put a smile on my face since by law I single out stuff that has to do with one going to jail or stuff solid enough to have to do with apples falling on your head and gravity. Anyway, the whole thing needed further investigation.
3. Law of Attraction-> If you concentrate on something hard enough, regardless of whether you like or dislike it, you will send a message to the universe and get that something after a while.
4. Well, originally I thought of all of the wankers out there who should have gotten laid with celebrities long, long, loooong ago. Then I decided to be somewhat serious about this and thought I'd waste some more brain cells about it. O.k. so this I'll-call-it-theory-for-shits-and-giggles, "regardless of whether you believe it or not isn't really a bad thing", said the gay self. "It's basically about being positive and com'on people need that nowadays more than ever".
5. That was partly true. If everyone evolved to my state of apathy and bitchiness, things wouldn't be fun anymore. Something needed to be done. But. But. Just because something doesn't have teeth to bite you in the ass, it doesn't mean it's not dangerous or proof of something that has the potential to be extremely dangerous/disturbing.
6. Think about the Law of Attraction for a second. The moment I learned what it is about, this sent chills up my spine. If I were to make a definition of the LoA, that would be: a religion where human killed God, or more accurately replaced God with himself.
7. I'm not particularly religious (cause if I were I'd have to aknowledge the fact that I'm probably going to hell), but this whole who needs God, ~I~ can achieve anything attitude disturbs me deeply when appearing in such an indirect form. First of all, I don't believe anyone is the shit just cause. I mean yeah if you have a big penis you probably qualify for being the shit, but claiming you are the shit just because you are part of a group that shares some characteristics or beliefs and not because you have achieved some stuff on your own, is bullshit for me and a form of racism. So you are white/black/latino/asian/christian/muslim/satanist/atheist/straight/homosexual/bisexual/a starwars fan/a d&d fan. -> I. couldn't. care. less. That doesn't make you the shit by default. Yes, you could be one of those AND be the shit if you had achieved something, but believing you are invincible and can control your destiny and shoot lazer beams from your ass due to extra coolness or whatnot is retarded. Same way of thinking goes for believing in the LoA and applying it. You are not fucking special and can control your own destiny just cause you say so. You may be able to control certain things about your future if you work hard and have what it takes , not because we all can if we blah blah have a positive mentality.
8. I know, I feel and I believe. These are three totally different things for me and should not be mixed in their core. For what I know though, I use my brain. And a theory that claims that human beings can command the universe is not a theory at all since it lacks all scientific proof. So it has to be something along the lines of a religion considering its nature. All is well with that, except the fact that a religion like this already exists. It's called modern satanism and emphasizes on the individual. Again no problem with that. Everyone is free to believe whatever helps them sleep at nights for all I care, as long as they don't try to convert people left and right to the ~one and only true religion~.
9. But I DO have a problem with LoA because it hides its nature behind supposedly peaceful teachings about positive attitude. This IS partly a religion, and one that could be summed up to hubris at that, but more than that it's another marketing tool for the fool. At least conventional religions are about the soul and satanism about doing whatever the fuck you want basically, without morality standing in the way. But the LoA is about making consumerism appear o.k. and spiritual. Think about it; you can get whatever you want if you concentrate hard on it. I don't know if I'm alone in this, but if I were to take this shit seriously, I wouldn't be concentrating on world peace.
10. People want: a) a high paying job b) looking smexy c) a relationship d) tons of material junk. Since we live in the 21st century, all of those can be bought or -to make this sound better- need money invested to succeed. In other words one's basic wish, like it or not, is having money in order to buy. You buy, buy, buy and then die and whoever has the most shit gathered till death, wins.

At this point, enough brain cells were already wasted. I punched my gay self in the nuts and decided that whether or not people should be having a positive attitude or not is their choice. The universe could or could not care. I didn't. I don't. I'm happy when I'm happy and sad when I'm sad and still kick people in the balls whether I'm happy or sad.

*SSDD= same shit different day


I'll Tell You A Secret About The Secret by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Greece License.