Seems like a good day to GO KICK ASS!

18 March 2010

Hatching A Monster

When people ask questions they are giving you the answers at the same time. If you pay close attention to them, you know what your answer has to be. There is no right or wrong. There is only right-er and wrong-er. The nature of anything is competitive nowadays. Why should Truth be an exception?
This whole role-playing of questions that come as a set with their answers is a game. You just pretend you are what you are expected to be. That way you are always right for the person that talks to you. You are bright and have a future. You are like them.
That's what The System is all about. That's how you become part of it. No one explained these things to me. Growing up though, I noticed that there is only one way to be good and a million ways to be wrong, to be "bad". Being part of ANY minority basically means being wrong. The real problem is not that you are gay or an atheist or dunno don't wear fashion accessories. The problem is that you are not pretending -and therefore "being"- part of what's considered to be normal. The officially, politically correct prevalent. No one cares if you ARE gay or an atheist. They WILL tear you to pieces if you don't pretend you aren't though.
A key word to keep in mind in all this is "real". Any way of thinking and ultimately any lifestyle that doesn't fit in isn't considered... real. People need explanations when someone doesn't behave according to what he/she is expected to. The person has to EXPLAIN why he/she is the way he/she is, because he/she "can't obviously be really like that". They have to be doing what they're doing in order to provoke/annoy someone, or because they have psychological issues. Simplest example: When someone isn't listening to mainstream music, they are doing it because they: are an angsty teen/ want to stand out/ are plain wack etc.

The reasoning doesn't matter. The mere existance of a "because" is what matters.

You don't have to explain yourself if you're listening to popular music or dress in a fashionable way. You don't need to defend your choices. Because you are normal. You are one of the "us".
I don't lie. I don't bullshit people because I talk with facts. Nevertheless, I am exceptionally good at giving the correct answers. I guess I'm the biggest, most dangerous kind of liar there is.
For those of you who don't personally know me, I am a law school student. Scored top grades and made my way to law school. I now don't study half as much as other law school students and I bet there are dozens who know more about judicial procedures than I do. However, I have a talent. I am a highclass liar as I explained. I look at people and know what I have to "be" in order to either gain something or avoid situations.
Studying is easy. Scoring straight A's is easy. The answers are in the books. But how many of my fellow students are good at detecting the answers in people? How many of them can be naive*, smart, classy or trash depending on what suits best the person standing opposite?
I look at myself and see monstrous potential. I know I have to learn how to control my emotions though. How to hush the voice in me that is ready to tell anyone to fuck off after giving them a detailed list of the reasons why they are full of bullshit. In other words, I know that in order to become something big, there is one last thing I have to work on: I have to learn how to lie to myself. Am I willing to do that?
I am 20 years old. I'll finish law school in two years. Some of these epiphanies are the product (apart from life in general, so far) of two weeks at work (I recently started working for the first time in my life). Check my income in ten years from now and you will know the answer.


*check my previous post and compare with this one for solid proof...

Creative Commons License
Hatching A Monster by The Schismarch is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Greece License.

No comments:

Post a Comment